The Things I Like Are Objectively Good

By Marc


Let’s start with an obvious observation: ranking board games is fundamentally a weird thing to do. Board games, like paintings, or movies, or songs, are an enormously subjective thing. The sorts of games I love and the kinds of games that my colleagues, my friends, or my enemies love might have nothing in common with each other.

But for whatever reason, we humans love ranking things. Every year there’s a thousand “Best Games of the Year” lists, and as the biggest board game convention of the year approaches (Essen Spiel in Germany) with its corresponding “Spiel des Jahres,” reviewers and fans both froth and shout about why one game is “better” than another.

It’s nonsense, but it’s well-ingrained nonsense. We all do it, and I’m as guilty as the next of occasionally believing that my subjective opinion about a game might actually be objective truth.

There are objective things you can say about board games. Monopoly is an objectively badly designed game (in part because it was never designed to be “fun,” but that’s a rant all on its own). But just because it’s a badly designed game doesn’t mean people won’t enjoy it! I would never claim that apples taste better than chocolate, but I enjoy eating both of them! I would also never claim that John Scalzi is a better author than Tolkien, but I enjoy the heck out of his work. 

(Ian: Nobody but you is going to get that reference, Marc)

Same with games! 

So with all that preamble ambled, let’s talk about my Number 10 through Number 6 “Games of All Time”, and who I think will enjoy them as much as I do. 

This may come as a shock to a lot of you, but I am the usual source for board games when my friends gather. I go to meet people, I bring the games. As a result I need to have a flexible assortment of games, including a few for very large gatherings (a few weeks back I had a 14 person gaming day). And of those, I don’t think anything has dethroned Wavelength yet. A party game in the same realm as Codenames, but a little faster, a little sillier, and just a touch better. Works pretty well with 4 players, but shines with 6-16. 

I love racing games. It’s a genre that speaks to me because the moment you sit down at a racing game, you already know what you need to do to win. As a result it’s hard to pick a “best” racing game, but if I had to, I think HEAT: Pedal to the Metal might be it. An elegant game with a lot of flexibility; you can play a quick couple of laps with a few friends and some “robot” cars, or you can play an epic grand prix with upgrades, impressing photographers, weather, and massive customization! Gosh it’s good, but it’s not a deeply strategic game, and the level of randomness is a pro for me, and that could be a con for others.

By far the best time-traveling-where’s-Waldo-murder-mystery-solving game I’ve ever played. Also the only time-traveling-where’s-Waldo-murder-mystery-solving game I’ve ever played. Having read that description, you kinda know how to play the game already; but it’s a fantastic, albeit weird, fully co-op game that involves a massive map and a lot of clever little moments. Some of the mysteries are a little on the darker side, so I wouldn’t recommend it for kids, but otherwise a great choice.

Okay. So some of the games I like are weird. Space Alert is weird relative to those other, weird games. It’s a starship simulator where everything is going wrong, you have 10 real-world minutes to try to keep the ship from falling apart, and you’ll almost always fail. Designed by the greatest board game designer of all time (Vlaada Chvatil), it’s almost impossible to recommend to anyone who wants a fair, balanced, or non-chaotic game. But gosh is it ever delicious chaos…

Confusingly, there are at least 8 different Dune games. The one I’m talking about came out in 2019 and is a reimplementation of one of the older ones (originally released in 1979). Although the new version is brighter and shinier than the classic, it is still a brutal, unforgiving, complicated wargame that’s all about negotiation, back-stabbing, front-stabbing, and cruel twists of fate. I think the box oversells itself when it claims you can play with less than 4 players (and honestly, if you can’t get the full 6 players, I’m not sure I would bring it to the table). If you want “the” Dune game for a large group, I think this is absolutely the way to go, as long as you have player count and they are willing to learn the complicated rules.

 

Okay, I think I’ll leave my personal Top 5 for another week, but hopefully this will give you some ideas for games that you may have overlooked without a recommendation!
Happy gaming, folks!

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